Suffering
One of the truly profound definitions of existence.
People love to romanticize about the uniqueness of their own suffering, and we readily turn it into a competition.
Claiming that others do not understand our troubles or traumas places us upon a pedestal of pathos, unreachable by those who would support us, just so we may feel uniquely burdened by an exquisite turmoil. When we suffer, we want to be the one who suffers most – others could not possibly understand.
While our lives are sufficiently complex and varied, there is bound to be enough commonality among our experiences that others may indeed understand us. This has the potential to topple our pedestal, and some will refuse to accept an empathetic ear, especially if their suffering is the only interesting thing about them. ‘You don’t understand!’ they will bellow, as though there is value or wisdom to be found in repelling assistance.
When people claim to understand our suffering, it is generally a matter of measure. If a parent loses their child, and a friend who has previously lost their sibling is offering support, they may say ‘I know how you feel’ or ‘I understand.’ They are not inferring that losing a child is the same as losing a sibling, it is an admission that they have suffered, like all of us have, due to losing a loved one. If they felt depressed, lost, hopeless, and resentful due to their loss, then they can imagine how the parent feels – enduring the suffering of loss with some additional misery on top. Claiming that we understand is far more often meant to mean we can imagine, and this is because human suffering is not unique, and romanticizing about its uniqueness does no one any good. It is someone telling us that they support us, and support is often hard to come by.
Perhaps we turn it away because we feel like we deserve to suffer?
Like many things, suffering has become POLITICAL in the modern era. Previously, the traumatized and pathological would seek solace in therapy or support groups, the purpose of which is to confront our vulnerabilities honestly that we may grapple with them and ultimately recover. Currently, people are incentivized to pool their grievances and mobilize their ranks in the pursuit of capturing power and privilege. This is justified in their minds because they believe that their abstract or arbitrary group has been uniquely aggrieved, and this uniqueness will be leveraged against others who will be told that they ‘do not understand.’
We all understand suffering, it is just a matter of degrees. It was considered laudable to manage our suffering and overcome our challenges, because we are not so special that our failure to do so was acceptable in the broader context. Now, we have weaponized suffering to the point that it is being invented because a market exists that can be exploited.
Essentially, if we can make our suffering unique, then we can justify failing to overcome it. If we admit that our suffering is not so different than the millions of others in history who have successfully managed to recover and do great things, then we cannot leverage it.
The uniqueness is necessary for both our inaction and the illegitimate capture of power.
The vengeful among us have even found ways of justifying increasing the amount of suffering in the world, allegedly as recompense for their internal turmoil. They intend on making others suffer as they have, whether theirs is real or imagined. This is emotional predation.
Recognizing that our suffering is common brings truth back into the picture and hinders the prospects of the aggrieved with political aspirations.
Our suffering is ubiquitous, and those who prescribe theirs as unique so they may benefit when others equally as worthy of relief do not, are either vengeful or opportunistic.
See: TRUTH, VICTIMHOOD
Posted: 12 Mar 2023
